welcome
"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act, but a habit.” -- Aristotle
tenacity
I need that. *points up* It hasn't been easy. But all these were expected even before I stepped into MJ. I don't know. The results I get in college are demoralizing. To be honest, I've even crushed a few essays and threw them into the bin as I couldn't bare to take a second look at those grades. What am I going to do in life? I really don't know. Life isn't as smooth-sailing as it has always been and I miss Dunman. I miss the fact that all I've been looking forward to were the practices after school. I miss the people there. I miss the feel they were able to give me. I miss people who accept me and people who do not judge behind my back. It's indeed true to say that everyone judges and everyone is being judged, but I feel very restricted to what I can say in MJ. I even have to judge people before saying anything from the bottom of my heart. People take things seriously.
The above paragraph seems to be very emotional and despondent so I guess I shall move on and leave it hanging there. :) Life hasn't been that bad actually. I mean, it's not to that extent that I would cry every day having to think about school. There are still things I look forward to, like meeting my classmates (nice ones) and friends! Really glad to have them by my side actually.
Well, I can't help but to talk about some of the classmates who are not as nice as those mentioned. Seriously, I believe that it's fated for people to meet, fated for people to be together and fated for people to separate. You're right, fate is what I'm talking about. But some people just don't understand it. It's just fated that our characters cannot go well together and that's it. As simple as that, and I don't see a need for you to talk about me in your blog (which you assume I don't read) and grouse about stuff you're unhappy about me. I mean you're absolutely free to talk about anything under the sun but do you have to be so specific and say that my actions are "childish" and I'm manipulating you to avoid some people? Yes I want to avoid some people in class but does that mean I'm childish? And did I force you to do all those things? I didn't. When I needed peace and silence for a moment, what were you doing there? You just could't stop talking and I'm sorry to say this, but you annoyed me to no point. Sometimes, you just have to be more sensitive to your surroundings because you're not the only one living in the world where everyone is able to tolerate your words and actions.
Back to my point, really happy that there are those who understand how I truly feel about things in college. People like Sheri, Nisya, Jane, Abi Tan and Gwen, I feel blessed for having them as my friends and classmates. And of course, HweeSze for always being there during choir, haha. Speaking about friends, I guess I just have to accept that some friends would never be by your side forever. It has happened so many times and I guess this is finally the end of everything. There used to be moments I cherished the most, when we could talk about practically anything and everything, but now, all these moments have passed and would be forgotten eventually. We have nothing to say to one another. Absolutely nothing, and I'm disappointed. It came to me that you guys are happy without me because you guys are still the same without yours truly. You guys organise dinner outings and so on and I guess they went fine, without me. I just have to accept that it's not gonna be the same anymore, and I just have to let myself be less dependent on you guys for support because after all, my family and other friends would still be there for me. <3
So anyway, I don't really know why I'm here when I'm supposed to be looking through lecture sides to refresh my memory, but it's been good to be able to let out what I've kept inside for so long and I'm glad that the time has been well-spent. :) Guess it's time to get on some serious matters now...
The above paragraph seems to be very emotional and despondent so I guess I shall move on and leave it hanging there. :) Life hasn't been that bad actually. I mean, it's not to that extent that I would cry every day having to think about school. There are still things I look forward to, like meeting my classmates (nice ones) and friends! Really glad to have them by my side actually.
Well, I can't help but to talk about some of the classmates who are not as nice as those mentioned. Seriously, I believe that it's fated for people to meet, fated for people to be together and fated for people to separate. You're right, fate is what I'm talking about. But some people just don't understand it. It's just fated that our characters cannot go well together and that's it. As simple as that, and I don't see a need for you to talk about me in your blog (which you assume I don't read) and grouse about stuff you're unhappy about me. I mean you're absolutely free to talk about anything under the sun but do you have to be so specific and say that my actions are "childish" and I'm manipulating you to avoid some people? Yes I want to avoid some people in class but does that mean I'm childish? And did I force you to do all those things? I didn't. When I needed peace and silence for a moment, what were you doing there? You just could't stop talking and I'm sorry to say this, but you annoyed me to no point. Sometimes, you just have to be more sensitive to your surroundings because you're not the only one living in the world where everyone is able to tolerate your words and actions.
Back to my point, really happy that there are those who understand how I truly feel about things in college. People like Sheri, Nisya, Jane, Abi Tan and Gwen, I feel blessed for having them as my friends and classmates. And of course, HweeSze for always being there during choir, haha. Speaking about friends, I guess I just have to accept that some friends would never be by your side forever. It has happened so many times and I guess this is finally the end of everything. There used to be moments I cherished the most, when we could talk about practically anything and everything, but now, all these moments have passed and would be forgotten eventually. We have nothing to say to one another. Absolutely nothing, and I'm disappointed. It came to me that you guys are happy without me because you guys are still the same without yours truly. You guys organise dinner outings and so on and I guess they went fine, without me. I just have to accept that it's not gonna be the same anymore, and I just have to let myself be less dependent on you guys for support because after all, my family and other friends would still be there for me. <3
So anyway, I don't really know why I'm here when I'm supposed to be looking through lecture sides to refresh my memory, but it's been good to be able to let out what I've kept inside for so long and I'm glad that the time has been well-spent. :) Guess it's time to get on some serious matters now...
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